Wow, it took me like ten minutes to even remember how to post a new entry.

I've long since run out of time to do these little guys, but if anyone is still out there, I now write even shorter things at http://twitter.com/AlanJEtcetera

Jason watched breathlessly as the girl in the window across the street unbuttoned her blouse, removing it and draping it casually over the back of a chair. She removed her earrings and laid them on her dresser, then her skirt, which took its place on the closet doorknob. She had just removed her prosthetic leg when she turned out the light. She and her family moved away the next week, leaving Jason to spend the rest of his life wondering where she put that leg when she went to sleep.

Tiny Ocean Discovered in Whelk Shell

MANTEO, NC –  Marine biologist Vince Bradley shocked the scientific community Thursday by announcing the discovery of a heretofore unknown ocean, existing self-contained in a large whelk shell on the coast of North Carolina. The discovery occurred during a routine vacation to Manteo, when Bradley’s 5-year-old daughter held the shell to her ear and heard the ocean inside.

“I was skeptical at first, but then I listened and sure enough – there’s an ocean in there,” said Bradley, a professor at East Carolina University. “You can hear it clear as day.”

The shell, cream-colored and nearly 8 inches in length, was formed by the calcium-rich secretions of the Atlantic Whelk, a large mollusk. The size of the interior ocean is as yet undetermined.

“Clearly several questions pop up immediately,” Bradley said at Thursday’s press conference. “What else is in there? Miniature continents, miniature nations – there could be a whole race of people in there that we’ve never met.”

                The Washington, D.C., press conference also featured Bradley’s daughter, Jenna, re-enacting the ocean’s discovery by holding the shell to her ear.

“I hears a ocean!” Jenna explained.

Though no official name for the body of water had been agreed upon at press time, Bradley noted that his daughter was leaning towards “The Happy Candy Ocean.” This nomenclature has been challenged by the local cartographer’s union, as has the fact that the ocean’s transient nature makes it difficult to place on a map.

“It is premature to name this body of water until we find a way to fit it into current geographical models,” said a union spokesman.

The scientific community is not the only party with an interest in the ocean’s exploration. Exxon-Mobil representative Eric Shirley said the petroleum company has already begun drafting designs to implement what they see as “potentially exciting opportunities for new offshore drilling locations.”

“The implications of this discovery are, of course, enormous,” explained Stanford University oceanography expert David Bloom. “One now has to wonder how many more secret oceans may exist un-catalogued in the countless other shells scattered across the beaches of the world.”

“Did you see this article?” Alice asked, climbing into Jim’s Volkswagen.

                “Nope.” Jim paused before starting the car.

                “‘The 20 Most Romantic Cars.’ The Beetle got third. It says they’re a great place to fall in love.”

                “That right?”

                “Yep.”

                “I don’t think Beetles are romantic.”

                “Well they must be, or it wouldn’t be an article.”

                “Oh.” He looked at her for a moment, unsure what to say.

                “So...” Alice began.

                “Yeah?”

                “You wanna try?”

                “Try what?”

                “You know, falling in love.”

                “What, now?”

                “Sure?”

                “Here?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Okay ... Who goes first?”

                “You can.”

                “Okay.”

                Alice watched him intensely. “You trying?”

                “Yeah.”

                A few moments passed.

“Nothing.”

“Jim, you’re not trying!”

“Am too!”

“All right, fine. I’ll try.” She squinted. “Nope. Oh well.”

“What? I tried longer than that! Make an effort!”

“Oh, I don’t need to.”

“But I did?”

“When women are in love, we know. Guys have to check – you should probably even try again.”

“Oh please.”

“You’re just afraid you’ll fall in love.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Not really.”

“Then try again.”

“No.”

“Chicken! Bak-bak-b-bak-ba—”

“Okay, fine!”

“Thank you.”

Jim frowned with concentration.  “Oh, I felt something!”

“Really?”

“No.”

Alice sighed. “Can we go?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Jim started to turn the key, then turned back to her.  “Y’know, I think I felt something that last time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“How’d it feel?”

“Like I was tired of trying to fall in love in a Beetle.” He cranked the car.

“Oh, shut up.”

“It's not a romantic car.”

“Just shut up.”